The Plan

So, with my Relationship and current life in tatters, I feel that it's time to make a plan for the next year to get myself back in "the game" so to speak.

It's no secret that I have a lot of issues in myself around self confidence and my looks, I'm not an amazingly attractive man and it's something that I have come to accept about myself and not anything I can really change.

However, I have let myself go a bit.

I have weighed nearly 20stones for a good 5 years. I'm not a small man by any means(I'm quite tall, 6 ft 4) and I am big built so I don't look too bad, but I need to start thinking about these sort of things.

So, here is the plan as it stands at the moment.

1) Join a Gym. There are 2 reasons for this, a) My Weight, which I intend to bring down to a more healthy 14 or 15 stone. But also, b) An outlet, something to get me out of the house and doing something other then playing the xbox, or staring idly at facebook, waiting for her to call or text me.

2) Get my teeth fixed. A source of frustration for S, and somewhat for me as well, as the state of my teeth has led me to the Dental hospital 3 times in the past 4 years. This is going to require that I get a loan to do this, as I fear there is a lot of work to do, however, due to a rather nice policy from my work, I should get most of this money back to go into my third part of the plan.

3) Finish my Driving lessons and actually learn how to drive.

4) Clear my overdraft. In all honesty, I should have done this years ago, and started doing it 2 months ago, but being £2300 in the red with the bank for so long has not been one of my proudest moments.

5) Get out more. I have a very small social circle and haven't done much to extend this in the last few years. This is something I need to change, as I have no desire to be "that guy" who stands at bars trying to buy random women drinks in the hope they will talk to me.

6) Hardest part, stop thinking about all the things that I should have done. I know where it went wrong, I can proportion the parts of the blame at my own feet, some at hers and some at his. I know it takes more then one person to totally screw something this badly.

7) When I feel ready, start thinking about moving on, get into something casual and not to serious with someone. I am a social creature at heart, and I need some sort of companionship to feel happy, but after 9 years I don't want to end up falling head over heals for someone again.

8) See my family more. A huge regret and something I really intend on thinking. My Oldest brother had a little boy 2 years ago, and I have never seen him.

9) Heal