Well. Here's the thing.
I think that my paranoia, from the initial finding out about what was going on 2 months ago, to turning up at her door and essentially catching her with him last week, has contributed a lot to what's going on.
I have done some things that I promised myself I would never do. I have snooped, I have collected information online to try and find out what's going on, I have accessed email accounts that weren't mine, read messages that were not for my eyes and seen pictures that I didn't want to see. All of this is persuit of "THE TRUTH".
But how much of that made things worse? What would have happened if I told her that I found out, and believed her when she told me that it was a one off thing that would never happen again? What would have happened if I just lay back and accepted that explanation? Would we have come out the other side happier, having seen the problems present in the relationship and started to work on them and get everything back on track? Or would it have got worse because she thought I was happy with the explanation.
I honestly don't know, We both should have handled this differently and done more to fix the problems then try to find something to blame the other person for.
The funny part is, I have tried to get angry about what happened last Wednesday. I was initially furious, but when I think about it now, it's not the sex that bothers me. We are human, and Sex is a primal urge, if 2 people are going through a similar situation it's sometimes the logical conclusion. I have never seen sex as the be all and end all of a relationship anyway, it's a by product for sure, but not the reason that you stay with someone. When someone cheats in that way, it's more an indication of bigger problems then the actual problem, and focusing on that part of the affair puts everything else out of focus.
It's maybe a little too late to have realized that.
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